What I Wish Someone Told Me About Eating Disorders and College Before My First Year

Katie on move in day, 2018

Katie Regittko, they/them, co-chair 
​I remember spending months dreaming about attending UNC. Not for the old well sips and basketball games and frat parties, but because of the 24/7 gym access and lack of support and watchful eye over my eating. The school year came, and with dredged up disdain for ending up so close to home and the stress of a new environment, so did my eating disorder in full force, worse than it ever had been before. It took on new faces, rearing its ugly head, until less than a month into second semester I was in the hospital and subsequently a treatment center. 

Summer 2018, I planned to only do what I called "light restriction" during the school year. So how did it get so bad so quickly? There are some hypothesis I have: still dealing with rejection from my dream schools, being away from my dog, isolating in a single room, overworking myself, the "little fish, big pond" analogy, etc. But, at the end of the day, colleges are breeding grounds for eating disorders, especially at huge schools with a heavy athletic and fraternity/sorority presence, the textbook UNC definition. 

Parts of seemingly "normal" college culture are steeped in diet culture and promote eating disorder behaviors. My first year of school, I thought it was normal to fast all day before a night of drinking, either to get inebriated quicker or to look a certain way in the outfit I had planned. Dining halls are plagued with large calorie counts in front of every option, and you can't get past a day without hearing about the "freshman 15". Comparison runs rampant--in class among your peers' knowledge, and also about the way other people live their lives. It isn't uncommon to hear about how someone spent hours in the gym or skipped eating before class. Meal plans are set up to make it easier to skip meals, and I won't even get into the horrid LFIT requirement. 

When I look back at these things, on my first year of college, I have a lot of compassion for the person who struggled so badly and quickly. Not only was I transitioning from a graduating class of 30 students to an undergraduate body of 18,000, I was also grieving the death of a friend, trying to find my own way as a semi-independent adult, repairing the relationship with my parents, balancing a full course load, and wading through all the college diet culture bullshit. And I wish so badly that I could go back and tell myself to take it easy, everyone is just figuring things out. 

So for the incoming freshman, who might have struggled with an eating disorder before or is currently struggling, here are some things I wish I could go back and tell Katie on their first few days at UNC: 

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 1. Find a community 

Shameless self plug, but Embody Carolina became a lifeline for me in college. Having a group of people who were focused on eating disorder advocacy and body liberation helped me to not only challenge some of the diet culture I saw on campus, but also eventually brought me the strength and resources to reach out for help. UNC is filled with hundreds of clubs for any interest you could think of--find one and become a regular. Those people will become a lifeline for you, and life-long friends. 

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2. Develop a consistent eating schedule 

I can't stress this enough: eat and eat often. UNC classes need your full brain power. Get into the habit of eating three meals a day and bringing snacks with you. You're probably going to be walking more than usual, so eating enough is even more imperative. The fun thing is that eating can be really social in college, go to Ramsgiving or go on an excursion to Franklin street with friends! 

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3. Steer clear from the gym for a while

Gym culture in college is something else. Going to the gym just to go to the gym can be a bad idea if you have a history with eating disorders. If you want to move your body, opt for one of the many opportunities for joyful movement on campus. Join a dance club, play volleyball in one of the quads, hit balls on the tennis court with friends, or do fun fitness classes through the Student Recreation Center! 

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  4. Opt for a lighter course load 
This is the number one thing I wish I did my first semester. With a full ride scholarship, I felt the pressure to "make it count" VERY hard. So I filled my schedule to the brim with classes I loved and were interesting, but no matter how amazing they were, the combination of 18 credit hours and just trying to figure things out was a recipe for disaster. I would even recommend just taking 12 credit hours your first semester and seeing how that feels, then revisiting in the Spring. 

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5. You Belong Here 
The imposter syndrome at UNC can be real, especially before you find your place. But you did it, you're here and going to one of the best public schools in the nation. It is real, and you are amazing for getting here. There is no rush to fit absolutely all of the traditions and expected actions into your first couple of months. Take care of yourself first, keep doing the things you love to do (make sure to make time for them). Some days, you're not going to want to wake up a 6am to stand in line at the Old Well and that's okay. You're a Tar Heel, like it or not. 

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6. Help is available, seek it out sooner rather than later 
There are so many resources for help and extra support right here on campus and in the community. Chapel Hill has a free support group for people with eating disorders, and CAPS has a free body image group for students. Campus Health has an eating disorder treatment team, and there are a number of amazing providers in the surrounding area. UNC Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders is right there for centralized outpatient support and higher levels of care. Carolina House and Veritas Collaborative are right down the road for higher levels of care. And the Embody team is always here for peer support. 

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Eating disorders and starting college are both incredibly difficult feats that sadly often go hand in hand. But, you are not alone. Your body needs all the love and care from you as you start this new chapter of your life, and so many of us are here to give compassion and support.