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The courage it takes to share your story might be the very thing someone else needs to open their heart to hope 

Between Two Paths

4/12/2016

5 Comments

 
Picture
BY SARAH LECK

I’ve been thinking a lot about paths recently.

It first came up a few months ago as I sat in my therapist’s office. I was panicking about not being on track to graduate with my class and stressing about not having what I deemed the “typical college experience.” She looked at me for a moment, then declared I simply did not have to follow the same path as everyone else. While everyone else was sprinting around the track, it was okay that I was walking slowly around the outside, picking daisies on my way to the finish line.

It comes up also in every Embody training that we give. We remind the participants several times throughout the training: there is no straight path to recovery. It’s filled with bumps and twists and obstacles. It doesn’t look the same for everyone. It is possible, no matter the road that gets you there.

And it came up again a week or so ago, as I stumbled across a new UNC organization’s Facebook page created to promote healthy eating in our community. Its profile picture showed a man standing with his hands on his hips on a road that diverged into two separate paths it was assumed the man was choosing between. On the right: a mountain of broccoli and lettuce and apples built atop a field of lush, green grass, emblazoned with promises of weight control! better mood! boosts energy! longevity! But the left offered only a wilted, sad lawn under a pile of greasy burgers, pizza and fries, along with weight gain, depression, tooth decay, early death.

I was shocked. And then just sad, because this isn’t what healthy eating is about.

A healthy relationship with food is not based around the diet mentality. It doesn’t rely on rigid rules, dangerous “all or nothing” thinking, or feelings of guilt and shame after eating. Diets and restrictive eating patterns can lead to pathological dieting behaviors which can further develop into partial or full-syndrome eating disorders, which are extremely prevalent in the college environment. Healthy eating is not marked by unforgiving ways of thinking about food.

A healthy relationship with food is not about putting foods into strict categories of “healthy” and “unhealthy” or “good” and “bad.” As we talk about often in Embody, foods do not have moral value. If you’ve been to one of the Embody trainings that I’ve lead, you’ve heard me say it: a donut is not inherently “bad.” It did not rob a bank or murder someone. And an apple is not inherently “good” – it didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize and it doesn’t volunteer on the weekends. Foods are simply foods, and although some have more nutrients than others, all foods, in moderation, have a place within a healthy diet. Eating foods that you enjoy do not make you a bad person.

A healthy relationship with food is not “one size fits all.” There is no one option for healthy eating, and it doesn’t look like one particular eating pattern or food choice. It looks different for everyone, because every person’s health, body, life and preferences are as unique as they are. Others’ food choices should not be shamed or critiqued.

Sending these messages under the guise of “health” can be harmful to everyone, but especially harmful to individuals struggling with eating disorders, with a history of eating disorders, or who are genetically predisposed to eating disorders. Recent studies suggest as many as 1 in 5 to 1 in 4 students on a college campus could be struggling with an eating disorder – an alarmingly high amount. These messages could be very real and dangerous triggers for those individuals.

Rather, a healthy relationship with food is marked by flexibility, trust and balance. It is about pleasure and nourishment and joy. In our Embody trainings, we pull from therapist and dietitian Ellyn Satter’s definition of normal eating:
Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes* in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.
 
In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.
I’m not saying that it’s bad to think about what you eat, or to be nutritionally informed about your food choices. And I don’t want to criticize the organization either, because as a society, we are all so terribly misinformed about these topics. But health should be about health – true, holistic, sustainable health, that is flexible and forgiving and about balance – and those promoting health should dedicate themselves to being informed.
 
It is walking between those two paths, rather than choosing one over the other.

 
*While Embody agrees wholeheartedly with most of the definition, we don’t think the word “mistakes” is the most helpful, as it conveys a sense of guilt/shame associated with eating.
5 Comments
Elizabeth Zimmerman
4/15/2016 05:20:47 am

Sarah, I am so proud of you and what you have accomplished! What a beautiful essay!
gliz

Reply
Sarah Leck
7/25/2016 01:37:26 pm

Thank you so much!

Reply
Yidou Wan
4/20/2016 10:17:56 pm

I really don't think it is not a good idea for you to tell people that they should choose whatever they like and eat till they feel satisfied. Not everyone has the discipline to maintain a healthy diet, especially kids and teenagers. What if you tell a boy that he can choose any food he wants, and he only chooses hamburgers every meal? Would you still say that is "normal eating?" You also like to play with the vocabularies a lot; you make statements like donut is not "bad" because it did not rob a bank, or apple is not good because it did not win a Nobel prize. This argument really doesn't make much sense because we all know that "bad" means unhealthy and "good" means healthy here. And last, you mentioned that there are many people with eating disorders, but you never mentioned how you can help them. I suggest you to focus more on helping people in action instead of writing articles merely for the sake of proving your opinions.

Reply
Sarah Leck
7/25/2016 01:37:09 pm

Hi Yidou! Thank you so much for your comment, and I apologize that it took me this long to respond! I am the author of this post, as well as one of the co-chairs of Embody Carolina.

My aim with this blog post was not to tell people to eat whatever they want, but rather to prioritize balance in their relationships with food and exercise. If someone ate only hamburgers for every meal, that would not in fact be "normal eating," as it would be a pretty restrictive diet that only allows for one type of food. Normal eating does involve eating a variety of foods and striving to choose foods that are nutritious and that fuel our bodies.

I "play with vocabulary" because the idea that food has a moral value is so prevalent in our society, and also very detrimental to our relationships with food and our bodies. I stand by the idea that there are no good or bad foods. There are, however, foods that provide us with more protein than other foods, or foods that we should try to eat less often than other foods, and so on. However, just because a food has a higher fat content or more sugar does NOT make it bad. Thinking of food in this rigid "black or white" way makes us feel guilty when we eat "bad" foods, and devalues the uniqueness of our own tastes and bodies and health. I'm arguing that we need to separate "good" from "healthy," and even reevaluate altogether what we associate with "healthy."

Our organization (Embody Carolina) is dedicated to raising eating disorder awareness, spreading body positivity, and creating compassionate and effective peer allies on campus. We do this through our peer-led trainings that are offered on campus, which teach participants 1) about the signs and symptoms of eating disorders, 2) how to recognize when a peer is struggling, 3) how to approach the peer and connect them to professional treatment, and 4) how to serve as a compassionate and effective ally throughout the recovery process. This training was developed in partnership with professionals from the UNC Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders, and we are proud of the work that we do on campus, in the community, and online to help those with eating disorders, as well as their friends and family. Additionally, this blog serves as a medium for Embody members, such as myself, to express our opinions on relevant topics, and is only one very small part of the important work that we do!

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you have any additional questions or concerns about the content of the post, or if you'd like to discuss this further. You can email Embody Carolina at embodycarolina@gmail.com, or you can email me personally at sleck@live.unc.edu.

If you'd like to learn more about the UNC Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders, you can visit their website here: www.unceatingdisorders.org

Reply
Bailey link
7/8/2022 11:22:23 pm

Hi thanks for postingg this

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