Katie Regittko, they-them, co-chair 
In past years, Embody Carolina has continuously participated in Southern Smash events. We have tabled at the scale smash, and had members speak at the SmashTALK events afterward. Throughout the years, we have seen and experienced many issues with these events, and our concerns have only increased since the rise of Black Lives Matter protests and action earlier this year. In August, we were asked to be a part of Southern Smash and The Alliance For Eating Disorders Awareness's "Dare to Love Yourself" summit, a virtual day of workshops and panels around eating disorder awareness and recovery. After careful consideration about these two organizations pasts and current response to the visibility of racial inequality, we have decided to no longer move forward supporting these organizations or their events on campus. Tonight, Southern Smash and the Alliance for Eating Disorders are hosting "Dare to Love Yourself UNC" a virtual replacement for Southern Smash and SmashTALK events. Here is why Embody will not be participating: 

Embody Carolina is first and foremost a committee of the Campus Y, the social justice "hub" on campus. Our most important values center around social justice, eating disorder awareness and advocacy in marginalized communities, and body liberation. We recognize that eating disorders are social justice issues which disproportionately impact marginalized communities and make it harder for them to receive a diagnosis and adequate treatment. We are dedicated to fighting for equity in the field of eating disorder advocacy and body liberation and stand with LGBTQ, BIPOC, disabled, latinx, and all marginalized communities. In July, we signed on to Trans Folks Fighting Eating Disorders's Open Letter to eating disorder institutions and organizations calling for change in the way they claim to support marginalized communities without steps towards real change, and we are dedicated to following through on that call. 

In our past collaborations with Southern Smash, the event was marketed largely toward sororities within the Panhellenic Council. Both events are considered a "point" for these sorority sisters, encouraging people to come to fulfill a point for their organization, after which they often leave without engaging in the event. These large crowds of sorority sisters are often off-putting to people in marginalized communities, and unknowingly encourage people outside of the Panhellenic council to not come. Personally, when I see a group of a hundred sorority sisters lined up, I start walking the other way. There are competitions encouraged to the Panhellenic council to design the best scale or raise the most money, and the large promotion of Panhellenic sororities signals where their priorities for spreading awareness and resources lie, albeit without overtly making that statement. However, we know that Panhellenic sororities and traditional greek life as a whole hold deeply racist histories which reinforce the gender binary and class stratification. 

Greek life holds a hefty monetary and social admission price, which breeds organizations which are predominantly white, cisgender, and upper class. When eating disorder resources are only funneled into these organizations, it is no surprise that BIPOC with eating disorders are half as likely to be diagnosed or to receive treatment. So what is the priority access given to sorority sisters actually about? To answer that, I think it's easiest to look at the founders and teams of these organizations. Currently, the Alliance for Eating Disorders has no Black members on their team or board. The founders of both organizations are privileged white women who were able to access treatment with their own funding. SmashTALKs are usually largely centered around the story of their founder, who was able to quit her job and privately pay for treatment, with the overarching theme of "if I can do it, you can too" without acknowledging real barriers that others face. 

Additionally, at Embody, we recognize that the pressure from popular organizations and campaigns to “love yourself” can be very off-putting and even harmful for people in marginalized communities, as various factors remain in place that are not conducive to this way of thinking. And then a sense of shame comes when people aren’t able to “love themselves” like others. For some people, loving themselves publicly is a very dangerous dare to accept. For many communities, publicly “loving themselves” has been used to contort and oppress their identities. 

The Dare to Love Yourself UNC panel is mostly white, cis women. The Panhellenic Council is a sponsor.  Especially in this day and age, that is a problem. Alliance for Eating Disorders and Southern Smash seem oblivious to the way in which eating disorder advocacy and treatment efforts have isolated and harmed members of marginalized communities. Until we see concrete steps taken towards change in the way resources are dispersed and the representation on the team as well as in events and sponsors, we will not be participating in Southern Smash or Alliance for Eating Disorders events. 

Embody Carolina is dedicated to sharing resources with and learning from the experiences of marginalized communities who experience weight stigma, body image distress, and eating disorders. If you are interested in learning more about our work on this front or supporting us, join us on November 10th for our panel on access to treatment in college and kick off Transgender Awareness Week with us on November 13th at our Comedy Fundraiser for Trans Folks Fighting Eating Disorders! 

Katie Regittko, they/them, co-chair 
Oh hey Embody buds, here is me talking about how much The Climb by Miley Cyrus absolutely slaps and then singing it. 

This is the song that brought me back to music in 2019, and I'm really grateful for it because music has been so important to me in the past year to regulate, express myself, and be authentic with others. (have you not listened to my spotify or soundcloud yet? weird) 

Wherever Heather, the music therapist who singlehandedly brought me back to playing music, is now, I hope she's doing well. I don't think she'll ever know what that three minute song in a dim, cold treatment center on a Saturday morning did, but I know she'll be the first one I thank at the Grammy's. 

Katie Regittko, they/them, co-chair 
​I remember spending months dreaming about attending UNC. Not for the old well sips and basketball games and frat parties, but because of the 24/7 gym access and lack of support and watchful eye over my eating. The school year came, and with dredged up disdain for ending up so close to home and the stress of a new environment, so did my eating disorder in full force, worse than it ever had been before. It took on new faces, rearing its ugly head, until less than a month into second semester I was in the hospital and subsequently a treatment center. 

Summer 2018, I planned to only do what I called "light restriction" during the school year. So how did it get so bad so quickly? There are some hypothesis I have: still dealing with rejection from my dream schools, being away from my dog, isolating in a single room, overworking myself, the "little fish, big pond" analogy, etc. But, at the end of the day, colleges are breeding grounds for eating disorders, especially at huge schools with a heavy athletic and fraternity/sorority presence, the textbook UNC definition. 

Parts of seemingly "normal" college culture are steeped in diet culture and promote eating disorder behaviors. My first year of school, I thought it was normal to fast all day before a night of drinking, either to get inebriated quicker or to look a certain way in the outfit I had planned. Dining halls are plagued with large calorie counts in front of every option, and you can't get past a day without hearing about the "freshman 15". Comparison runs rampant--in class among your peers' knowledge, and also about the way other people live their lives. It isn't uncommon to hear about how someone spent hours in the gym or skipped eating before class. Meal plans are set up to make it easier to skip meals, and I won't even get into the horrid LFIT requirement. 

When I look back at these things, on my first year of college, I have a lot of compassion for the person who struggled so badly and quickly. Not only was I transitioning from a graduating class of 30 students to an undergraduate body of 18,000, I was also grieving the death of a friend, trying to find my own way as a semi-independent adult, repairing the relationship with my parents, balancing a full course load, and wading through all the college diet culture bullshit. And I wish so badly that I could go back and tell myself to take it easy, everyone is just figuring things out. 

So for the incoming freshman, who might have struggled with an eating disorder before or is currently struggling, here are some things I wish I could go back and tell Katie on their first few days at UNC: 

 1. Find a community 

Shameless self plug, but Embody Carolina became a lifeline for me in college. Having a group of people who were focused on eating disorder advocacy and body liberation helped me to not only challenge some of the diet culture I saw on campus, but also eventually brought me the strength and resources to reach out for help. UNC is filled with hundreds of clubs for any interest you could think of--find one and become a regular. Those people will become a lifeline for you, and life-long friends. 

2. Develop a consistent eating schedule 

I can't stress this enough: eat and eat often. UNC classes need your full brain power. Get into the habit of eating three meals a day and bringing snacks with you. You're probably going to be walking more than usual, so eating enough is even more imperative. The fun thing is that eating can be really social in college, go to Ramsgiving or go on an excursion to Franklin street with friends! 

3. Steer clear from the gym for a while

Gym culture in college is something else. Going to the gym just to go to the gym can be a bad idea if you have a history with eating disorders. If you want to move your body, opt for one of the many opportunities for joyful movement on campus. Join a dance club, play volleyball in one of the quads, hit balls on the tennis court with friends, or do fun fitness classes through the Student Recreation Center! 

  4. Opt for a lighter course load 
This is the number one thing I wish I did my first semester. With a full ride scholarship, I felt the pressure to "make it count" VERY hard. So I filled my schedule to the brim with classes I loved and were interesting, but no matter how amazing they were, the combination of 18 credit hours and just trying to figure things out was a recipe for disaster. I would even recommend just taking 12 credit hours your first semester and seeing how that feels, then revisiting in the Spring. 

5. You Belong Here 
The imposter syndrome at UNC can be real, especially before you find your place. But you did it, you're here and going to one of the best public schools in the nation. It is real, and you are amazing for getting here. There is no rush to fit absolutely all of the traditions and expected actions into your first couple of months. Take care of yourself first, keep doing the things you love to do (make sure to make time for them). Some days, you're not going to want to wake up a 6am to stand in line at the Old Well and that's okay. You're a Tar Heel, like it or not. 

6. Help is available, seek it out sooner rather than later 
There are so many resources for help and extra support right here on campus and in the community. Chapel Hill has a free support group for people with eating disorders, and CAPS has a free body image group for students. Campus Health has an eating disorder treatment team, and there are a number of amazing providers in the surrounding area. UNC Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders is right there for centralized outpatient support and higher levels of care. Carolina House and Veritas Collaborative are right down the road for higher levels of care. And the Embody team is always here for peer support. 

Eating disorders and starting college are both incredibly difficult feats that sadly often go hand in hand. But, you are not alone. Your body needs all the love and care from you as you start this new chapter of your life, and so many of us are here to give compassion and support. 

by Ashley Broadwater, outgoing co-chair

​David Gaviria spent years with a dysfunctional heart, fainting spells and seizures. But his senior year of undergrad, while listening to his internship boss chew him out over asking off for his mom’s birthday, he realized he’d hit his breaking point.
 
His stress was real: as an undergrad, he was enrolled in 18 credit hours, working 20 hours and doing 20 hours of research each week. But there was an issue that he kept hidden – from his boss, his family, everyone: he had been dealing with an eating disorder for seven years.
 
“That’s the first thing I thought,” Gaviria said. “I need to get help for the eating disorder.”
 
But when Gaviria reached out for that help, people didn’t tend to believe he, as a man, had an eating disorder. They second-guessed him. He didn’t fit the emaciated, white girl stereotype in the media. He didn’t feel comfortable reaching out, especially to people who wouldn’t understand and know how to help.
 
These inaccurate portrayals of who has eating disorders, what they look like, and how to help is unacceptable, especially given that one in four college students has one. That stigma keeps individuals from believing they’re sick and getting treatment. It’s why eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness and are the third most common chronic condition in adolescents. More people need education so they can understand, seek treatment and lend support.
 
“Everyone knows someone who’s had an eating disorder,” Gaviria said. “People are literally surrounded by eating disorders all day, so they’re having a direct impact on the person who doesn’t recognize it.”
 
Eating disorders have an impact on many aspects of an individual’s and culture’s well-being. “The student not getting good grades could lower a teacher’s metrics,” Gaviria said. “A family can be torn apart. Car accidents happen because people are obsessing over their food. People with eating disorders make $20 thousand less a year because they miss work or aren’t as productive because they’re always thinking about food.”
 
If he hadn’t sought treatment – and had his mother to lean on – Gaviria believes he would’ve been hospitalized and unable to attend graduate school like he is now, or at least not be as successful. His mind wouldn’t have had the time or ability to do what needed to be done because of the severe malnutrition he was facing: according to studies, people with eating disorders think about food and their body 70 to 100 percent of the time.
 
Gaviria says God called him to raise awareness, so that people would understand the impact of eating disorders and the importance of listening to people who are struggling.
 
Embody Carolina, an organization at UNC-Chapel Hill, focuses on just that. As a part of the Campus Y, they have a social justice focus that centers on the intersectionality aspect of eating disorders. Research shows that marginalized groups are more likely to have eating disorders because of the extra stressors they deal with, and how they’re also less likely to be believed since they don’t fit the stereotype.
 
Embody was started was to teach students how to be allies for others with eating disorders. Embody hosts educational trainings for aspiring allies with a script created by the National Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders at UNC Hospitals.
 
Anyone can attend these trainings so they can become more educated, effective and compassionate allies who can serve the one in four people they know.
 
“It could save someone’s life,” Gaviria said. “Being an ally makes you more aware that people are going through things, so the more you can be accepting of that, the better person you are and can be.”

Resources to support yourself or a friend:
Embody Carolina trainings page and resources page